This ugly winter evening he was standing over there, that hill, lifting one cigarette after another, he didn't really have a mind to go down there, to where all this people he hated were crowding. At a glance he could tell that she was telling a lie, but in the depths of his mind he wanted to believe in her words.
Proceeding any further was a waste of time, so he even thought that he might end everything the other day. The real deal was that he was totaly obsessed by her and as a result he feared he won't make it till the next time.
At heart he wanted to scream till dawn, that he thought would be grey as hell, so his throat would run dry.
But in reality he was just whispering to the wind blowing with terrible power, he surely was at loss.
The time was running slowly, it seemed that they stayed there for ages, but he couldn't hear what she was saying, he was all into himself.
Suddenly he turned around and looked straight into her eyes. If you ask me, that looked kinda scary in a way. He stayed like that for a brief moment and then asked:
- what's wrong? - he was smiling like a maniac, who was going to mess her all up
- you, - answered she, with this trembling voice, that shown her whole existence being trembled.
- so what's wrong with me then?
- you're becoming distant. Isolated, you may say. I feel like it's not you, I mean, of course it's you, but the one under an iron shell, covering you all over. You look like this world doesn't concern you anymore, like, I don't know, you're rejecting it.
- I hate it, to be honest. But I'm not the one rejecting you, look in the mirror, it always shows the truth.
He took out another cigarette and started to walk away.
- Don't leave me alone, - she cried in a pitiful voice. She was really nearly crying.
- I'm not waiting for you, catch up with me, if you can.
He left. His thoughts were all messed up but on the other hand he saw the Order in Chaos, he liked it that way.

Я, таки, заболел. Болит башка и высокая температура, временами кашль, а так вроде все.
Начал писать книгу, когда доберусь до сюда в следующий раз, думаю скину некоторые заготовки, уже откорректированые и т.д.

I open up my head
Inside and find another person's mind
I'm gonna take this chance I've got
I run denying as we speak

xxx: 1 я проспала всю школу что очень хуево
ххх: 2 я проснулась с идеально прямыми волосами, что на самом деле не компенсирует 1

The faceless truth. What are we, to begin with? The ones who dances with shadows? Or the ones who scream in silence? Maybe just those who eats up with emptiness? It doesn't matter, any way we're the fallen souls with no way back. Baby, _you_ are the one I need, the one I want and the one I lust for. Let's do it in a cool way, ok?

небольшая выписка из Helia - Shivers:


1, this is for the lovers
2, this is for the haters
3, fuck those stupid posers
4, I'll be true till death

Убивай. Круши. Еби шлюх

Вчера ебашили траву, веселились.
Сегодня с утра потянулся, задел плафон и он раскололся на 2 час. уничтожать крушить грабить корованы

Last three days I lived in one breath. Her breath.
But I'll start from the beginning. I'm all fine, studies go all well, I have no real fucking problems here, in Tomsk. On Friday I have traveled to nsk. First I wasn't really lucky, but that one man gave me money, and soon I found one who drove me to my destination. I rushed to her. I lived her for three days, and all of them were like one for me. I went to school, everything there was lovely. The thing was that I couldn't meet with much of my friends, who were to busy to meet up with me. I'm thankful to ones who came. Afterwards there was only one person with me. She was. That was perfect. But than I left.
The shitty things began then. First I couldn't find someone to drive me back, than was driven to crossroad, it was nearly 22:00 o'clock. I was walking about 40 minutes on the cold air, all alone, there were practically no cars. And no one stopped. But there was one thing that made me happy and exited. The sky, it was. It was clear and pretty, hundreds of star were shining. But once again I was lucky, and found one who drove me here.
Now I'm perfectly fine, next time I will have "Trip to Nsib" will be two weeks from here.
Honey, I love you as much as possible =*

Прощайте.

Well you see. I have nearly bold head now, so... I'm the Hardcore!

теперь я оффициально прокачен

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips' red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.


I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.




William Shakespeare, Sonnet 130

Почему так получается, что в тексте музыки, которую я слушаю в данный момент, содержится отражение моего настоящего или ближайшего будущего?

The city looks so pretty
Do *you* wanna burn it with *me*?
Till the skies bleed ashes
And the fuckin sky crashes

Breath redemption into wasted life

Во дела, скорее всего буду работать на тренингах администратором, работа на самом деле для ушлепков, потому что заниматься надо херней, но вроде дадут бабла норм, это было бы очень кстати.
Все на самом деле очень стремно, и у меня частенько такое чувство что *ей* на меня вообще насрать и *она* меня скорее ненавидит, хотя я и сам знаю что это не так, и если бы *она* сейчас стояла рядом со мной, *она* бы сделала бы лицо выражающее "мне то насрать? я ненавижу? ты в конец ебнулся чтоли?", а я бы просто улыбнулся.
Мир перестает крутиться вокруг меня, я медленно оставляю его лишь тихо махая в след.

11111111111111111

You got to hurry, 'cause it won't be long until you can't control the bleeding with your bare hands.

Мы стояли друг напротив друга, и она не видела ножа в моей спине. Как же было опрометчиво поворачиваться, чтобы поднять голову, посмотреть в небо и закурить...

You mustn't open your mind to what you believe
Please tell me that this is for real
Won't you shine your light on me?
Don't say that you want me
Please tell me that this is for real
I just might say someday
I could be better off in your mind

Hey baby, do you see me cause I'm staring at you
Hey baby, I want you I want you
Hey baby, do you see me cause I'm staring at you
Hey baby, I want you I want you alive
Come sit next to me
Can you see into my mind?